


Daddy (and Papa)'s Little Evil Queen

by radiowrittenheart



Category: Penn Zero: Part-Time Hero
Genre: Adoption, Adventures in Parenting, Drabble Collection, Family Fluff, I blame the fandom, M/M, Original Character-centric, Two Fathers, cute shit, i don't own the OC, the whole gang's here yo, wibbly-wobbly timeline
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-11
Updated: 2015-09-17
Packaged: 2018-04-08 17:42:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 5,677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4314411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/radiowrittenheart/pseuds/radiowrittenheart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Victoria Grace-Clarice Rippen - a beautiful name for a beautiful little girl. A little girl who was born into nothing, but ends up in endless dimensions, the forces between good and evil, and an unbelievable family that sometimes feels like a dream. Needless to say, her fathers had no idea what they were in for when they held that newborn baby for the first time.</p><p>This is their story.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Victoria Grace-Clarice Rippen

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ruff_ethereal](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ruff_ethereal/gifts), [pretty much all of the PZPTH fans on tumblr](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=pretty+much+all+of+the+PZPTH+fans+on+tumblr).



> so there's this blog on tumblr - penashi.tumblr.com - and WE'VE BEEN FLOODING IT WITH HEADCANONS. somehow we created a little baby girl OC that the dorky gay villains adopt. well, ruff made her but we all kidnapped her and developed her. i felt compelled to make a series about her, seeing how there's already a million ideas involving her.
> 
> ruff, once again, i blame you.  
> mimzie, i also blame you, 'CAUSE IF YOU NEVER MADE THAT BLOG WE WOULDN'T BE IN THIS MESS.  
> love you both anyway y'all rock <3
> 
> (by the way like my other drabble series this probably won't be in chronological order; it'll most likely jump all over the place)  
> anyway here goes nothing

This was it. It was all official now. The papers were signed, albeit very shakily, but signed nonetheless.

Today was the day.

To be honest, Rippen was dreading it. Just a little bit. He was excited in a nervous sort of way, but his nerves were shot. He felt like he was going to faint. No, instead, he wanted to run out of this place. Okay, maybe do both. He wasn't sure. He wasn't sure of anything right now. He still couldn't believe that this was actually happening- nope, nope, nope, this was a dream, it had to be. How the bloody hell did Larry convince him that this was a good idea?

How it even came up in the first place was beyond Rippen. Everything happening over the past few months had been a blur; all of the rejections, the occasional spat or two, the confusion and questions - it was almost a blissful sort of chaos.

But now, reality was hitting Rippen like a ton of bricks. No, perhaps cinderblocks. Or anything that was heavy, actually.

So here he was, trapped in this courthouse-

-oh-no. The social worker was back-

-with a little bundle in her arms...?

"This is Victoria."

Rippen was glued to his seat, while Larry - who had finally stopped pacing, thank God - practically fell flat on his face while running over.

The sound of gushing, words mushed together of _“oh how cute”_ and _“isn’t she precious”_ , mixed in with the whining of a baby… a baby. No. This was a bad idea. Rippen was going to do the most evil thing ever; march back there, throw the contract in the shredder and claim that this never happened. Yup. He’d do that. It would break Larry’s heart, but oh well.

“Rippen! Look at her!” Larry squealed, holding up the newborn girl.

“I don’t think you’re holding her properly,” Rippen muttered. Not that he knew anything about babies, but still.

That was the worst thing for him to say, though.

Larry grinned like he had won the lottery - again - and tried to shove the little girl in Rippen’s arms. “Here, you hold her!” he said.

Despite the protests, Rippen found himself awkwardly cradling the baby. “Um,” he stammered, taking a moment to swallow hard. “Hello there.” At least the thing didn’t start crying when it looked at him. No, instead, she opened her eyes - which were the brightest, most brilliant green - and giggled. “Um, u-uh, what’s her name again?”

“Victoria,” the social worker spoke up. “She’s one of our newest additions to the home.”

Rippen glanced to Larry, who looked so happy and lit up and shaking with joy. They both knew, just by looking at each other. This was a terribly wonderful idea. Why wouldn’t it work? They might have never taken over the world, but this … this seemed surprisingly easy compared to that.

“We’ll take the little urchin,” Rippen declared.

The social worker looked confused for a moment, but as Larry signed the final bits of paperwork to confirm it all, he waved a hand, dismissing the slightly offhand comment. He was too busy smiling, and perhaps softly laughing to himself. However, out of the corner of his eye, Rippen noticed something scribbled on the form-

“She’s taking my last name?” he said softly.

“Well, why not?” Larry asked. “Victoria and Vladimir Rippen!”

Rippen groaned and rolled his eyes at the usage of his first name, but smiled down at the little girl nonetheless-

-and kept one eye on the form.

“Her middle name is _not_ going to be Grace,” he spoke up. “We’re going with Clarice.”

“We’re using both,” Larry declared, handing over the certificate.

Victoria Grace-Clarice Rippen. She had no idea what sort of family she was getting into…

...and her fathers had no idea of the life she would be capable of living.


	2. A Not-So Silent Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THESE POOR DADDIES DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY'RE IN FOR

Oh, yes, sure, the first few hours were nice. Rippen and Larry were already doting on their daughter, practically spoiling the adorable little thing- that is, until she suddenly started screaming and wailing. But nothing seemed wrong. Little Victoria was clean, she didn’t want to eat anything, she didn’t want to go to sleep…

...now Rippen really was seriously considering taking her back to the adoption office…

...except, seeing Larry hold that fussy little menace in his arms - that almost made it better. Almost.

She was still crying, though.

“Look, why don’t we just leave her alone?” Rippen said exasperatedly. “Maybe she needs some space.”

“Rippen!” Larry practically scolded, with a small frown. “We took her because she was alone.”

“I’m not saying we ditch her,” Rippen muttered, rubbing his temples. “Let’s just …-” He waved his hands across the hall, where the nursery was. “-put her in the crib or playpen or whatever and let her cry it out. She’s probably scared of me or something. Most children are.”

Victoria’s wailing only got louder, and her face was practically red as she fought against the blanket she was wrapped in.

Larry winced at the sudden screaming, and his optimism was clearly worn out by now. He sighed, and fell back against the couch, leaning over to cuddle up against his husband … and Rippen stammered, completely washed over with awkwardness. On one hand, yes, he did like snuggling with Larry (despite the protests), but on the other hand, it was a bit disturbing to have a screaming baby between them.

“Um, Larry?” Rippen muttered. “I don’t think this is working-”

“Shh,” Larry spoke up, gently unwrapping Victoria from the blanket she was trapped in, and holding her out to Rippen.

“I told you, she’s probably scared of me-”

“-just hold her. Trust me on this one.”

Rippen groaned, and took the squirming infant in his grip, holding Victoria upright, letting her scream and kick the air. Fat tears spilled out of her emerald eyes, and she was fussing beyond belief - there was no logic in trying to calm her down, they had been trying to do so for hours…

“This is pointless,” Rippen huffed, as he got up. “I’m putting her in the nursery, and let her scream until she’s burned herself out.”

“Rippen!” Larry frowned. “She’s a baby!”

“Larry,” Rippen said mockingly. “You have a point. She's a baby. She can’t talk yet. She can’t tell us what’s wrong, so what else do you suggest?” He adjusted his grip on Victoria, and let her cry and wail into his shirt. “We’ve tried everything. It’s midnight. I want some sleep.”

He turned on his heel, and headed across the hall, into the yellow and green room that had been vacant for months, but now…

Rippen sighed. “Why do you have to be such a menace so soon?” he muttered, while laying little Victoria amongst a massive pile of blankets and stuffed animals in her crib.

“You like her, right?”

“W-what?” Rippen stammered.

He looked back, and noticed Larry standing in the doorway, staring at the scene before him sincerely and sweetly.

“Victoria,” Larry spoke up, walking over and staring into the crib. “You like having her here, don’t you? We made a good choice, didn’t we? I mean, we waited all of these months to get a kid a-and, you know-” He shrugged. “-there’s no going back now.”

Rippen nodded, and swallowed hard. “I know that,” he assured. “I like her. She’s a cute little devil.” He hesitated, beginning to scratch the back of his neck nervously. “I guess I have to get the swing of things. Having her around and whatnot.” He wasn’t going to ask if he’d make a good father. Larry had assured him of that many, _many_ times before they even signed any applications to adopt a child.

Still, it was very strange to see a baby girl, looking up at them, screaming and wailing.

“Here you go,” Larry whispered to little Victoria, picking up a stuffed animal and holding it out to her.

However, she swatted it away and kept crying.

This was definitely going to take some getting used to.


	3. Dear Auntie Vlurgen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Think of Bernadette Peters if you need a perfect voice claim for Vlurgen. That, or Alex Kingston (<3).

It had been a fairly calm week after that nerve-wrecking night, where little Victoria would cry and scream over nothing. She was slowly but surely getting used to having her two new fathers taking care of her instead of social workers. She seemed to be warming up to them, acting like a normal baby- and yes, okay, maybe the messes that came with her, Rippen could live without that. Larry, on the other hand, was just eating it up, ignoring all of the downsides and only focusing on the new ray of sunshine in their lives.

Today seemed like a good day. Victoria hadn’t cried once last night, and now, she was babbling cutely in her playpen, trying to sit up every now and then. Rippen was sitting at the kitchen table, looming over the newspaper and of course, Larry was probably sleeping in until noon like usual.

It was a peaceful Sunday morning; no mission to go to, no work, just time to laze about-

-now who in the world would banging on the front door at eight in the morning?

Rippen groaned when the little girl started whining, and he got up from his seat, shuffling through the dining room and across the foyer to the front door. He didn’t even have time to reach out for the doorknob when the door swung open and oh, God, _**no**_ -

“Vladie! Little brother, how have you been?”

“Hello, Vlurgen,” Rippen muttered as he was yanked into a hug by his older sister. “What brings you by?”

“Oh, nothing much,” Vlurgen trilled. “Except I heard that I heard I’m an auntie now.” She flipped her hair over one shoulder and sashayed into the manor. “So, where is the darling?” She rolled her eyes when she noticed her younger brother becoming flustered and confused. “It’s unbecoming for a villain to stutter, Vladie.”

Rippen growled, and rubbed his temples. “How did you find out?” he retorted.

Vlurgen raised an eyebrow. “Are you honestly going to ask me that?” she mused. “Lawrence called me up the other day and couldn’t stop gushing about your daughter. He said I just had to visit little-” She snapped her fingers. “-what is her name? Of all the things he went on about, I don’t think he ever told me that.”

“Victoria,” Rippen said, with a strange sense of pride.

“Oh, how sweet,” Vlurgen replied, with a small clap as she glanced around. “Where is the little devil?”

Rippen sighed, waving towards the kitchen and trudging ahead of his sister to lead her through the mansion - as if she hadn’t already unexpectedly swung by numerous times before. “Here she is,” he declared, reaching into the playpen and lifting up the baby girl, who was now starting to doze off a bit.

“Well,” Vlurgen mused, pursing her lips. She stared seriously at the infant in duckie pajamas, and then released a half sigh. “I thought she was older.”

“She’s six months,” Rippen muttered.

“She’s a precious thing, though,” Vlurgen assured, reaching out. “Come on now, let me hold her.”

Rippen hesitated at her request. After all, he knew that his sister was capable of killing a man with nothing but her bare hands, lipstick and a newspaper. She wasn’t exactly the sort of woman who held babies … but it wasn’t as if he had much of a choice. Little Victoria was practically yanked out of his hands, and snuggled into the grasp of her aunt.

“Doesn’t react much, does she?” Vlurgen spoke up as the baby girl barely fidgeted in her arms.

“Oh, if you had been around the past few nights, you’d think otherwise,” Rippen grumbled.

Vlurgen rolled her eyes, and scoffed. “So, do you plan to form her into the perfect little villain? Maybe give me a sidekick?” she asked.

“You’ve got to be kidding,” Rippen retorted. “She’s a baby, Vlurgen-”

“-in five years, she won’t be,” Vlurgen retorted. “Start them while they’re young, Vladie.”

“I’ll think about it,” Rippen remarked, with the smallest hint of sarcasm so his sister would get the hint. He flopped back into his seat at the kitchen table, browsing through the comics and stocks sections while his sister fussed over the infant.

It was almost sort of nice. Sweet, almost. Like this was a classic family reunion-

-that is, until his sister asked the most obvious question.

“So what in the world made you agree to this cutie?” Vlurgen spoke up. “I could see Lawrence suggesting it, but you saying yes to children? I thought I had a better chance of seeing you actually win a mission.”

Rippen tried to frown, but seeing that baby girl in his sister’s arms; little Victoria having her big, bright green eyes focused on her new father (one of two, anyway), it made him unable to do anything except smile. And for the life of him, he couldn’t understand why.

“Strange things happen,” he muttered.

Strange was a word for it.


	4. The Most Unexpected Babysitter - Part I

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i'm gonna do little story arcs in this fic. the arcs won't last more than a few chapters and will be marked with Part I, Part II, etc. they won't happen very often either. just a heads up.
> 
> ENJOY THE CUTE.

“Look, we need someone to watch her,” Rippen declared. “Just for a few hours, while we’re in the mission. Can you give up eating those revolting fish sticks for the short amount of time and look after her?”

Phil stared at the little girl in Rippen’s arms, and frowned. “Eh,” he muttered, with a shrug. “My sister can.”

Rippen’s face contorted into confusion. “The hero’s MUT technician?” he asked.

“She’s good with kids,” Phil said, giving a nonchalant shrug.

“That beast of a woman once tried to strangle me!” Rippen argued.

“This was time you broke into theater, yes?”

Rippen fell silent, and let out a groan, while staring at the fussy infant in his arms. Victoria needed somewhere to stay; there was no way he’d let a baby on a mission, whether it was his or not. A disgruntled noise slipped past the lips of the part-time villain and he trudged out of Fish Stick on a Stick, eyeing the abandoned theater next door. Little Victoria cooed in his arms, waving her tiny hands.

“The things I do for you,” he sighed.

Each step almost felt guilty as he headed towards the Odyssey, but he somehow managed to creep in-

-oh, dammit. There was an alarm, and shit, were those _lasers_ pointing towards him?!

“Name purpose for entering.”

“Hold your fire, Phyllis,” Rippen declared, holding up his free hand. “I come in peace.”

The MUT technician in question rappelled down from the ceiling and looked questionably at the part-time villain. “What is it you want?” she snapped.

He could do it. He could walk out, forget today’s mission…

...but nope.

“I’m here to ask you for a favor,” Rippen mumbled.

Phyllis’s eyes went wide, and she dropped down to the floor, unlatching her harness. She raised an eyebrow, placing her hands on her hips. “You? Ask me - for help?” she retorted.

Rippen sighed, giving a small nod. “Trust me, you’re not my first choice for this,” he said. “No offense.”

“None taken,” she huffed.

“Anyhow,” he said, holding up the baby girl in his arms. “This is Victoria. My, uh-” Rippen coughed awkwardly. “-daughter. Well, technically, she’s mine and Larry’s, and she’s not even ours biologically but … um, you get it.” He felt like chills were going up his spine as he noticed how deep Phyllis’s glare was. “I need you to look after her for me. Just until the mission is over. Phil said you’re good with children?”

Phyllis stared at the infant squirming in Rippen’s arms, softly gurgling and smiling a lopsided sort of grin.

“Look, you’re my only option here,” he added. “I don’t even want to think about calling up my sister, not that I have the time to do so, and Larry and I both need to go on this mission. I literally have no other option.”

“Hmm,” Phyllis pursed her lips, placing a finger on them - he decided not to point out she was smearing oil on her face.

Then, all of a sudden - much to the surprise of the two of them, little Victoria squealed and reached out, yanking on the technician’s pearl necklace. And just as Rippen was about to pull his daughter away, he heard something he never thought he’d hear from Phyllis of all people-

-she laughed.

“I like her,” Phyllis declared, taking the little girl and holding her up. “She can stay.”

Rippen decided not to protest the fact that she was ruining Victoria’s perfect little white sundress - but Larry was definitely going to have a fit about that.

“Thank you,” he grumbled. “I’ll be back after the mission.”

He winced when Victoria started whining, reaching out for him-

-was she really that attached? Already?

“Have fun with Phyllis while I’m gone,” Rippen said softly to the infant. He hesitantly reached out, tapping her on the head and ruffling her little tuft of raven hair. “Good girl. Give the heroes hell if you see them.”

And of course, speak of the devils-

“Hey, Rippen, how you doin’?” Penn said, with that despicable grin of his as he swaggered into the theater.

Rippen grimaced back. “Just stopping by,” he grumbled. He turned on his heel, about to speed out of the Odyssey…

...that is, until Victoria started wailing and reaching out for him.

“Aw, who’s this cutie?” Penn added, stepping forward towards the baby girl- however, he froze still as a statue when Rippen’s accusing finger pointed at him.

“You lay one finger on that baby, and I won’t waste a minute in inhalliating you today,” he declared.

Penn held up both of his hands accusingly. “You know, technically, since I’m graduated now, you can’t boss me around anymore,” he playfully shot back.

Rippen’s crimson eyes were blood red, and his sneer completely vicious. “Phyllis, I have one request. Do not let the heroes near my daughter,” he declared. Then, as he left, he slammed the door - just for good measure.

He practically ran back to Fish Stick on a Stick, sliding in through the doors just in time to be zapped into some sort of dystopian steampunk world.

“So did you find someone to watch Victoria?” Larry asked, as he started to fiddle with all of the buttons on his mechanical bowtie - which produced all sorts of gadgets and gizmos.

With a barely-there nod, Rippen waved a hand. “Now, the mission?”

Larry raised an eyebrow in concern. “Who?” he asked.

“Larry, that’s not important-” Rippen mumbled.

“Who’s our daughter staying with?” Larry announced, placing his hands on his hips.

Rippen frowned. “Phil’s sister,” he retorted. “Alright? I was in a pinch. She wasn’t my ideal option, but-”

“Are you kidding?” Larry said, his expression suddenly lighting up. “Phyllis is a delight!” He noticed his husband’s surprise, and chuckled. “We have tea every Tuesday after the missions. Nice woman. Incredibly philosophical too. Did you know that her accent actually is Russian, because that’s where she and Phil ended up when they ran away from their real home- which is, like, way off into the galaxies or something like that, I don’t know? But anyway-”

“Can we just focus on the mission?” Rippen sighed.

A few years ago, he might have said it with annoyance. But lately, he had been saying in a playfully teasing manner; with a smirk hidden in a scowl.

“Oh, of course,” Larry said, as he tapped his specs. “We should totally leave Victoria with Phyllis more often, though.”

And perhaps neither of them had expected to be talking about things like babysitters for their daughter...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i think i'm starting to get the hang of Larry's rants....?


	5. The Most Unexpected Babysitter - Part II

Unfortunately, the mission had it’s typical ending. It was a bust. Rippen felt like going back and destroying the grand old clock tower of power, but nope, he wasn’t going to let his anger get to him. He was probably rusty after being away for a few weeks, that was all. And the reason he had been gone for a few weeks-

-well, that reason was right next door.

He actually didn’t feel as bad as the first time he headed to the Odyssey; swinging open the door, and looking here & there for little Victoria. Needless to say, where he found her was disturbing.

“Good God, woman, what the hell is wrong with you?!” Rippen said, as he stared up at Phyllis, who was rappelling up in the air, fixing something - _with the baby girl strapped to her back_. “Get down from there before my daughter falls to her death!”

“Oh, hi, Phyllis!” Larry chimed, waving up.

The technician let out a grunt as she lowered herself back down to the ground, and unlatched the little girl from the harness, handing her over.

“Honestly, Phil lied to me,” Rippen mumbled. “You, good with children. Shouldn’t have believed that.”

Phyllis practically growled, and ignored his comment. “She was no trouble,” she assured.

Larry decided to ignore the glares being swapped between his husband and the technician, and he dug into his pocket, holding a few bills out to Phyllis. “Here you go, for your time,” he said. “I’m sure you did just fine with Victoria, but, you know, we didn’t want to drop that on you all of a sudden-”

“-was no trouble,” Phyllis insisted, refusing the money by pushing Larry’s hand away.

“Well, next time, then,” he declared, giving a small smile in an attempt to lighten the mood.

“By the way,” Rippen muttered, holding up Victoria. “What happened to her sundress? What is this you wrangled her into?”

Little Victoria was wriggling in midair, chewing on the collar of the purple onesie she was now wearing. And once Larry noticed what the baby girl was wearing, he literally started squealing as he snatched her out of Rippen’s hands.

“Oh, it’s so cute - she looks perfect in it!” he gushed. “Rippen, look!”

He turned Victoria to the side and Rippen squinted at the golden words on the onesie…

 _ **Daddy’s Little Evil Queen**_ , it read.

“Figured you would not want Princess,” Phyllis spoke up.

“It’s, uh-” Rippen stammered, giving a pathetic shrug. “It’s alright, I suppose.”

He would not give her the satisfaction of knowing that, actually, the design was indeed very fitting. Goodness gracious, Victoria did look perfect in it. And yes, one day, she would hopefully be an Evil Queen. She’d rule all of the worlds her fathers had failed in-

“Hey, Ole Rip,” Boone said, as he came out from the movieplex section of the theater. “Cute little tyke you got.”

“Would have been cuter if she hadn’t been screaming half of the time she was here,” Sashi added, while following him and Penn in. She half-scowled at the baby, who started whimpering upon seeing her. Then, she gave a slight glare to Penn. “Don’t get any ideas.”

With a roll of his eyes and a smirk, Penn still kept his eyes on little Victoria. “She’s a cutie, no matter how much screaming,” he said.

Despite the flames in Rippen’s eyes, Penn tapped the baby girl on the head.

“Hi, Tori. We’ll see you some other day,” he said, taking her tiny hand and shaking it.

“ _Tori?!_ ” Rippen spat out. “Her name is Victoria.”

“Yeah, I know,” Penn replied. “I just gave her a nickname-”

“-you will do no such thing towards my daughter,” Rippen declared. “She has a name and she’s going to use it.”

Larry hesitated, and of course, he was still smiling. “I think Tori is kind of cute,” he piped up. “Maybe when she gets older, she can use it.” He laughed softly, kissing little Victoria on the forehead, who squealed in joy.

Rippen rolled his eyes, gently lifting Victoria out of Larry’s arms - carrying the baby girl out of the Odyssey, without so much as even mumbling a goodbye. Of all of the annoying things that hero could say, it was to impose such a stupid nickname on his precious little girl…

...then again, maybe it wasn’t a total waste, taking Victoria there-

-after all, she did look absolutely adorable in her new onesie.

“Conquer some worlds for me in those dreams of yours,” Rippen murmured, as he strapped his dozing daughter into her car seat.


	6. Lost in Translation

It wasn’t as hard as they thought it would be. Daunting, yes. Exhausting, no doubt. But taking care of a baby wasn’t as scary as it had sounded when the idea was first proposed.

Yet, in moments like this, it almost felt like the best thing in the world. Victoria had started her wailing for no apparent reason, sometime after midnight - almost as if on cue. While that was a bit of an inconvenience, it was still nice to have her there; snuggling in Larry’s arms as Rippen cautiously and lovingly observed.

The baby girl didn’t put up much of a fuss like she used to. She would occasionally wriggle out of her blanket, whimper and almost dare to continue her crying, beg for her stuffed animal-

-of course, that’s at least what her fathers were assuming when she pointed to her stuffed tiger and whined “ra ra”. At almost eleven months, she couldn’t exactly say proper words, but she was certainly stubborn enough to try.

So there they were; the three of them in the nursery, trying to get little Victoria back to sleep.

“I never doubted you for a second, you know,” Rippen spoke up. “I knew we could be good parents, if we tried.” He had enough sense to not keel in so quickly; to admit that a few months back, he almost didn’t want to try…

...but he didn’t want to do a lot of things a few years back. And he did them anyway.

“Of course we could be good parents!” Larry said, trying to keep a hushed voice so their daughter would stay calm - and hopefully, finally fall asleep. “I mean, sure, we’re villains but that doesn’t mean anything, does it? It’s not like we’re going to raise her telling her to burn down buildings and get in trouble on purpose or whatever.”

Rippen held back a smirk. Just when he thought this parenting thing didn’t have any perks to it…

Larry raised an eyebrow at his husband. “Don’t even think about it,” he added.

“You’re such a joykill from time to time,” Rippen teased. “But don’t worry, we’ll save the arson for when she’s older.” He laughed when Larry’s jaw nearly fell to the floor. “What? You don’t think I’m serious, do you?”

(Well, maybe he was a smidgen serious. It was an idea.)

“You better not be,” Larry retorted. “She can be evil in the Multiverses if she wants, but that’s it.”

“I know, I know,” Rippen assured, waving a hand as he leaned up against the wall.

It was the perfect view. His husband, sitting in the rocking chair, cradling their daughter- five years ago, if someone told Rippen he would be in this situation, he would have laughed in that person's face and thought they were demented. But like a domino effect, one thing fell into the next and it all flooded together into one big, and somewhat beautiful, mess.

However, Victoria broke the serenity of the moment with a soft wail, waving her tiny hands out-

-and said something that sounded unlike anything she ever tried to say before.

But it was quick. Too quick.

“She said it!” Larry gushed. “She said papa!”

“Impossible,” Rippen shot back. “T-there’s no way-” He cleared his throat. “She was probably begging for her stupid stuffed animal.” He picked up the stuffed tiger, handing it to little Victoria. “See? She wanted this.” He dropped the toy into Larry’s lap, and shook his head.

No.

That was near impossible.

“You haven’t been teaching her to say it, have you?” Rippen whispered.

“Sometimes,” Larry admitted. “That, or Daddy. I mean, she can’t call both of us that, it would get confusing, y’know? Unless you have something better-”

She said it again. Muffled, as she smothered herself against the stuffed animal, but she said something that sounded very distinct as to what her fathers were oh-so-hoping she had said … but Victoria suddenly started wailing, kicking her legs up in the air and waving her arms which was a sign that-

-oh-no.

“It’s your turn,” Larry said, holding up the infant.

Rippen groaned, taking the little girl in his arms.

She was too busy screaming to even acknowledge either of her fathers-

-but maybe, just maybe, she said that magical word for the first time. They would never know.

“That’s going to be the most evil thing you’ll ever do,” Rippen murmured, with a soft chuckle.


	7. Things Her Heart Still Needs to Know

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wholly blame school and work for getting in the way, but here's a chapter! :)
> 
> (and yes that was totally an anastasia reference)

One year. Their baby girl was already a year old. Of course, they only had her for nine months, but it was still amazing to know they had devoted this long to a child - their daughter. It still felt strangely beautiful to realize such a thing. Then again, they were still getting used to some things.

As Victoria shoved her face with the disaster of a cake Larry had made for her, she watched in awe as her fathers rummaged through boxes of things that they had no use for.

“What to expect when you’re expect- Larry, why did you even buy this?” Rippen groaned.

“I thought it might be helpful!” Larry said, with seemingly no idea of how idiotic it really was for him to buy such a book.

Rippen shook his head, and tossed the book to the side with all of the other things they thought they would have needed, but didn’t. Baby-naming books, an extra five packages of pacifiers, far too many stuffed animals- good God, how much money did they waste on all of this rubbish? However, a folder lying near the pile caught his eye…

While Larry suddenly found it the perfect moment to start snapping a million and two pictures of Victoria, Rippen sat down at the kitchen table, sifting through the papers he didn’t recognize.

Something that resembled a birth certificate.

Documents that looked important.

Something else in an envelope.

When did they get all of this?

“Larry,” Rippen said slowly. “Were we given this when we adopted Victoria?”

“Hmm?” Larry glanced over to the papers his husband was holding and nodded. “Oh, yeah, it was just a bunch of junk the social worker gave me before we left. I don’t know why we kept it. Feel free to toss it.”

How could he? Rippen loved Larry, but sometimes, his common sense didn’t work at all.

These were Victoria’s official documents, the papers that defined her for life. Unfortunately, some of the handwriting was illegible, and a few papers were torn or from the looks of it, burnt. The only thing in decent condition was the envelope.

No name on the front. Nothing. It was bare. Rather heavy, too.

Rippen hesitated, fingering the slit of the envelope before tearing it open and his eyes widened as a single sheet of paper and another envelope slid out.

Just at a glance, he could tell that the paper was a letter.

_To whom it may concern,_

_My baby girl does not deserve the life she was born into. I can’t take care of her; with no job, no money, no home and most importantly, no family. She deserves more than me. Keeping her would make me feel as if I’ve failed as a mother, not when I know someone could do far better._

_I ask you to love her, to cherish her as your own, no matter how old she is when you adopt her. She needs someone to guide her down the right paths in life. I don’t find myself capable of doing such a thing. I can’t give myself a second chance, but I can do it for my daughter._

_If you’ve adopted my child while she’s still a baby, please don’t rename her. Her name is the only connection I want her to have with me. Victoria - for all the victories I want her to have in her new life._

_Please, love my daughter. Give her everything I couldn’t._

_And when the time rolls around, give her the letter that goes with this note. She deserves to know._

No signature. Nothing. Rippen could have sworn, he might have teared up at this letter, glancing at his one-year-old daughter - when, in reality, if different things happened, she might not have been here. With a slightly shaking hand, he placed the letter down on the table, and summoned his husband over.

For a moment, Larry was a little concerned, but he was surprised when Rippen kissed him on the cheek, pulling him into a one-armed hug.

“I don’t think I’ve ever thanked you,” Rippen murmured.

“For what?” Larry practically stammered, now ultimately confused.

Rippen coughed out a laugh, and shook his head. “For her,” he said. “It was all your idea, Larry. Thank you for talking me into it.”

Larry blushed, “Aww. You didn’t have to-” He practically squeaked at another kiss; this time on the forehead. As an impact, he started giggling like a fool. “-now what are you getting all affectionate for, mister?”

“I don’t tell you I love you that often, do I?” Rippen said, with a slight frown.

“Well, you don’t have to,” Larry assured. “I already know that, silly.”

“But I should,” Rippen retorted, taking his husband’s hand into his own.

Their wedding bands were so stupid to the point that they were sort of adorable. Simple gold, with hearts carved right in the middle and on the inside, each other’s names. Looking back, a few years ago didn’t seem that long. Especially not after the whirlwind of nine months that had already gone by. And to think, they had so much more to go through…

Rippen cleared his throat, standing up to pull his husband into a proper hug. He rarely said those three little words, but when he did, it was like now - soft and gentle and whispered. It didn’t make a different, though. It was said. And he meant it.

Meanwhile, little Victoria looked at her fathers, completely unknown to what sort of family she had gotten herself into.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LOOKIT HOW CUTE AND GAY THESE FUCKING NERDS ARE-
> 
> \- *ahem* Comments are always appreciated.

**Author's Note:**

> holla in the comments if you have any ideas for baby Victoria and her daddies.
> 
> strap in for more cute, y'all!


End file.
